Christ at the Comedy Store by Andre F. Peltier

On Sunset Boulevard,
the party never stopped.
No one slept;
no one took a cat nap
in the shadows.
No one nodded off
behind the dumpsters
in acerbic alleyways
behind the Garden of Allah.
Night clubs were packed
at all hours.
Into this scene strolled
the living Christ,
returning to save the souls
of the Strip.
He played The Whiskey,
The Roxy, The London Fog
into the wee hours of the night,
but at The Comedy Store,
He found his niche.
The crowd enjoyed
His new material,
comments on Gerald Ford
falling down and James L. Buckley
falling up.
Backstage, with Robin Williams
and Sam Kinison,
he performed new tricks.
His Miracle of the Baking Soda
kept everyone wired for hours.
He fed hundreds
with a single caquelon on fondue
and a glass of shrimp cocktail.
By 1982, Pauly Shore was
washing His feet with
those curly locks;
he was the weasel
through and through.
By the mid-80s,
His old standards
brought down the house.
Two thousand years ago,
the Beatitudes seemed
so earnest,
but now,
in the midst of Reaganomics,
they were just absurd,
and people rolled on the floor,
turning their other ass-cheek
over and over and over.
“The meek shall inherit
the Earth,” He said.
It was hilarious.
Even Barabbas,
in the shadows at a back table
nursing a Rusty Nail,
chuckled a bit.
What’s the deal with
peacemakers?” He asked.
They fell out of their seats.
Other nights, he opened with
the old stand-by
“Render unto Caesar.”
Oh, how they howled
as they found their
tax loopholes.
“If you cast
The first stone…”
He said,
“…You might be a

Andre F. Peltier (he/him) is a Lecturer III at Eastern Michigan University where he teaches literature and writing. He lives in Ypsilanti, MI, with his wife and children. His poetry has recently appeared in various publications like CP Quarterly, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Version 9 Magazine, About Place, Novus Review, Wingless Dreamer, and Fahmidan Journal, and most recently he has had a poem accepted by Lavender and Lime Literary. In his free time, he obsesses over soccer and comic books.
Twitter: @aandrefpeltier