Your Own Personal Jesus by Zeke Jarvis

The emerging digital technologies have created a feeling of uneasiness in some people. They see a crisis. Others see an opportunity. Still others see a combination, what has been referred to as “a crisitunity”. But we go one step further. We see “a Christitunity”. Now that the NFT trend has started to wind down, the Church of Perpetual Innovation will be leaving the profit making aspect of it behind to capitalize on the individual converting potential of it.

For those who are curious about Jesus, you will have the opportunity to work with our digital artisans to craft your own, totally unique, completely nonfungible Jesus icon. Want to see a pixilated representation of Jesus suffering with a crown of thorns? We can do that for you. To be more precise, we can do that for exactly one of you. After that, that one of you will own it in perpetuity, and the rest of you will need to come up with your own unique design. Maybe you’d prefer Jesus feeding the masses with loaves and fishes. There’s plenty of loaves and fishes for the masses, but you’ll have the only image of loave-and-fish style that you and your matched artisan produce.

You might be wondering what we get out of all this. The answer:  your soul. Of course, we won’t keep your soul; we’re transferring it immediately to God. So, really, you’re getting eternal salvation and a completely unique digital image to boot! Whether you want to see Jesus riding a flaming motorcycle, juggling chainsaws, or quietly brewing tea, it’s a Win-win situation for you (note:  sexual and/or bathroom situations will not be illustrated). We can’t wait to bring you into the digital fold. 

Zeke Jarvis (he/him/his) is a Professor of English at Eureka College. His work has appeared in Moon City Review, Posit, and KNOCK, among other places. His books include, So Anyway…, In A Family Way, The Three of Them, and Antisocial Norms. His website is